Julia’s Adventures: Lock out (2)

“She was in my sight the entire time,” Julia continued, quickly covering what onlookers would consider a faux pas of the first time parent. “Anyway, I went and got one of the ladders. I thought they’d never notice it gone for ten minutes.”

The tale was being told while sitting in our living room. Steph and Elaine, my housemates, were sitting on the other sofa listening and it was here that Steph piped up. “I bet you were well scared of getting caught.”

“Yeah, you have no idea. I was like, don’t see me, don’t see me. Be out somewhere. Haha. Anyway, I got the ladder and propped it up against my balcony. Then I went back to the woman and said, “Look, I’m sorry about this but I’m scared of heights, so could you go and get my keys for me?”

“No way,” I said, “Really? You sent a woman you don’t really know up a ladder?”

“Yeah, haha!” Julia shrugged. “So I had to take Elloise, grab George’s lead while she went up the ladder, through my balcony door, grabbed my keys and came down and handed them to me. Only she had forgotten to close the balcony door so I had to then go back up and close it, shut the door and then hand Elloise to her again so that I could return the ladder.”

“I hope you put it back exactly how you left it!” I mocked, “Otherwise they’ll know.”

“I did,” she said, “I crept back with it as if it was like a completely normal thing to do. So, I put the ladder back, went and collected Elloise and then took George for his walk. And this is like ten thirty now. So took me hour and a half to leave to take him for a walk.”

She sat back with a contented sigh as we all watched the dogs play with one another in a reflective silence. No one thought to bring up her perculiar dress sense when visiting another home, albeit it quarter to ten at night. Nor further question it as she was heading off to Durley to pick up something that she bought on Ebay. The only thing I could think as I watched George, the older Staff than to our Ted, pin his younger counterpart to the floor with a playful growl, was how the hell did she end up in these situations?

Julia’s Adventures: Lock Out

Of all the people I enjoy to write about, whether in fiction or creative non-fiction, one of my favourite subjects has got to be my sister Julia. I’ve not really written anything about her on here, however she never ceases to be a source of amusement and inspiration writing wise. For instance this evening she came round – I had offered to have George (mum’s boyfriend’s dog) for the day, which later became an overnight stay – to drop off some food for him.

She came into the living room for general chat – and I think to make sure that he got on with the other three dogs we have here perfectly well – at around half nine at night dressed in her pajamas, thick white with spots fleece socks, her boyfriend’s slippers and a thick black wool dressing gown.

As the discussion progressed, she suddenly said to me; “I told you that I locked myself out today didn’t I?”

I shook my head, “No, I heard nothing of that.”

She held up a hand, “I just wanted to cry, you know, it was just one of those instances. First off, I’d managed to get myself and Elloise sorted and out the door today by nine o’clock. Which, I might add, is a miracle for me to get anything done by nine. I mean, we’re talking full make up and everything. Got downstairs and realised that I’d left my keys inside. I kid you not, I could have cried.

“I then knocked on downstairs glass door to see if they had a ladder to get in my balcony, she screamed at me!”

“A bit excessive,” I murmured.

“Yeah, she screamed at me, then I realised it as because she saw George, he was with me because we were taking him for a walk. I had Elloise in my arms, and I was like, “He’s OK,” she said she’d call her friend and he’ll bring one down soon. I asked how soon and she said an hour and I was like… Fuck… that, no way was I going to wait around for an hour. So I walked down the road to the house on the corner, because they’re renovating and getting an extension or something. Anyway, they had like four ladders in the garden!

“So I went and knocked on their door, they didn’t answer, so I went back up the road and knocked on the door across the road from me. She didn’t have one, so I handed her Elloise-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding up a hand. “You handed Elloise to a random person?”

“No, I knew her… sorta… She was one of those who you pass and say hi, how you doing and stuff, you know…”

Actually, I didn’t know as I am an anti-social sort who doesn’t really talk to anyone in passing. In fact, majority of the people I see out on the street recognise me far sooner than I then. But I dutifully nodded and let her continue her story…